What is with the trolling lately!? I'm going to analyze this exchange as an example. =)
DISCLAIMER: I am not trying to belittle or patronize. Please understand that I am only analyzing this example because it's my job as a leader to raise awareness. I would have sent this as only a PM to both parties. But since the misunderstanding is small, I figured it an excellent opportunity to use it as an example without insulting anyone. (Whereas in a more serious conflict, highlighting people's mistakes could be embarrassing to those involved) I normally wouldn't bother, but there has been a serious increase in these small miscommunication leading to flames and such. I feel obligated to address the issue. I could make this a new thread and open to discussion, but I think that might bring unnecessary attention to a simple example. I could PM it to all the members, and friends, but that takes a lot of time. (although that would be the right way to publish this example) =(
(FYI: the initial miscommunication was due to 44's sarcastic comment: "it will be almost as good as black ops." Evoke took it literally, since there was nothing to signify that the comment was sarcastic.)
Evoke your comment started the cycle by saying:
OH RIGHT ITS A SHOOTER SET IN THE MODERN DAY THEREFORE IT MUST BE A COD CLONE! /sarcasm
Which was certainly more mocking (therefore subtly insulting) than it was sarcasm.
As well as with the:
Black ops.. good? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Laughing
at someone for their comment is certainly not mature. And the obvious intended effect is to belittle someone.
I think it's better to leave these parts out.
Then we have 44 retaliating (contributing to the fire):
My post went WAY over your head man, re-read it.
Which is another attempt to belittle someone by way of exaggerating a misunderstanding. Then pointing to the same comment which generated the misconception, without offering any clarification. This needlessly adds to the confusion of the situation, raises the other persons level of frustration, and provokes a personal response. Saying it went over heir head is also a jab at their intelligence or awareness. I would have said: "My comment about black ops being good was sarcastic. I was making a parody of the system."
It's accurate to say that 44 uses veiled sarcasm and leaves no way to tell his true meaning without simply guessing his true opinion by way of knowing him personally and his opinions based on previous conversation. If you use sarcasm in this way, be prepared to be misunderstood, and also prepared to have to summon the patience to correct people
maturely. Otherwise, it's you laying the troll bait, by setting people up with intentionally ambiguous sarcasm and then provoking them when they respond to it. If you communicate in this way, you make it your responsibility to clarify the conversation.
Either that or this is some attempt at a muckty troll?
This is an insulting assumption. And I know you were only speaking from what you think is true or likely, but nevertheless it's an insulting notion, true or not. I have used this mechanic too in my fault (though I am getting better at avoiding it). It's a ploy, by analyzing the possibilities, to reinforce your first and primary conclusion by juxtaposing it with a negative and unwanted alternative. This either/or format can be acceptable when used very carefully, but many times its result is a passive insult or manipulation.
I have a hard time with this one because when used unconsciously, it's validated and rationalized as simply "speaking the truth". Yet if the truth is insulting, it's more mature to say nothing, or if it
must be said: be VERY tactful. This is a gray area of the code of conduct but it is also addressed by "BENEVOLENCE" and being considerate of other's feelings.
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I'm only articulating this because I honestly wonder sometimes if everyone understands these dynamics in conservation. I was raised by a psychotherapist and grew up being taught these things. We say and do things as a result of consciousness influenced by emotion and the unconscious mind. We rationalize and validate everything we do to feel in control, but if you take a step back and actually see the interactions, the subtleties are easy to see.
I'm sure you all already know this stuff and see it. But we all forget now and again, or choose not to see because we are stressed, or just don't care at the moment. I'm just reminding us all that we need to turn that switch on BEFORE things get carried away, if we want to avoid drama. =)
