LMC Code of Conduct Explained

[ZenPhire]

Some pointers for people who would like more explanation or perhaps some implementation or examples:

Summary:
--If it's in the private area it STAYS there.
--Don't be offensive (i.e.: racist remarks, saying "gay" to mean lame, etc.)
--Don't automatically assume someone has disrespected you intentionally.
--Do your best not to take things personally.
--If you offend someone, apologize.
--Let others know when you feel disrespected.

--> Don't divulge private info or violate the privacy of LMC. This means do not record others in our TeamSpeak Server without their knowledge, and especially do not record others and then publish such recordings to the public. And do not quote from private forums in public (whether our public forum boards or elsewhere). LMC Private areas are meant to be PRIVATE, so as to be a safe place.

--> Respect is largely awareness. Please take care not to use offensive language such as calling things "gay" to mean "lame". Racist comments are NEVER allowed. No matter what company you are in, there are certain things we just won't tolerate, even if there's no one around to be offended by it. We want mature and respectful members, not just people who can act mature and respectful.
(e.g.: "My computer is being gay because it won't start" - NOT ACCEPTABLE ; "You look gay in that feather boa" - an acceptable use of the word as long as there is not a negative connotation )

--> Ignorance is not an excuse, if you didn't read the Code of Conduct carefully, then it's your fault. There are Leaders and Officers always willing to answer questions and explain things to you if needed. It's generally safer to be cautious, than push the boundaries.

--> If you insult or offend someone, APOLOGIZE. We aim to have a drama-free community, and that can only happen with mutual respect. Likewise, if someone apologized for offending you, don't hold a grudge, accept the apology and let it go. And please always do your best never to jump to the conclusion that someone is intentionally offending you, give EVERYONE the benefit of the doubt, and if you must assume anything, then assume it was NOT intentional. I don't believe anyone here would intentionally offend another person, so why automatically take it as an intentional attack?

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Peace and respect takes effort:

We are conditioned to take things personally, to make assumptions, to insult others without realizing it in order to express our frustrations. Maturity is the realization that you can overcome these inclinations, and the self-control to do it. So...

1) Do your best to be aware of what you are saying and if it is insulting. Often times, when we are upset, we lace our words (insults, insinuations, blame, anger) without even realizing it. So keep aware and watch for that spite and poison in your words; remove it. A good practice is simply not to communicate when you are upset. Get control of your emotions first.

2) Do your best not to take things personally. What people do is generally about them, not you; and it is rare that people intend insult. More likely the perceived offense was an oversight.  So why take things personally and react emotionally based on assumptions?  The ability to remove yourself emotionally from a situation can prevent a lot of drama. Please, if you find yourself taking something personally, or reacting emotionally, treat the situation as a misunderstanding (and either give the person the "benefit of the doubt", or use communication to clarify intent).

3) Do your best not to make assumptions. People usually make an amazing amount of assumptions about others during a given conversation. The truth is you can't know why someone is saying something or if they intend disrespect. It's unwise to generally assume that others mean you harm, or intended disrespect, when you are offended. The difference is in how you react, and much of your reactions are based on your assumptions. Please try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Because in my experience 90% of the time people offend one another without even realizing it. Communication can resolve theses issues without resulting in an emotional response that exacerbates the situation. Please don't "respond in kind." Cool each-other off instead of fanning the flames. And along this same idea, if someone says they meant no offense, believe them (the alternative is effectively calling them a liar, and that is bound to instigate drama and truly offend).

4) When someone is insulted or offended I see three possible causes, either the offending person: A--intended disrespect, B--could not stop themselves, or C--were unaware that they would cause disrespect. The first two are less likely and are easy to understand. The difficulty lies in the third possibility, a lack of awareness.

Since some sensitivities cannot be easily foreseen, or may even be unreasonable, this must be taken into account. Nobody can have total awareness of everything; you would have to be omniscient.

Still, we expect a high level of awareness. Simply stating "I didn't know he would get upset if I called his mom fat" won't save you. You always take a risk by insulting someone, even if it is a joke. The burden is on you to test the waters and make sure that your humor is not offending anyone. Never assume that everyone is just fine with whatever you may say. You may joke around with someone in a certain way, but if they are having a bad day then the situation is changed. (e.g.: You don't make jokes about someone's mother, if their mother just died.)

Awareness (and consideration) is the key.
  On a similar note, if someone is offending you, it's YOUR responsibility to tell them. Speak up and communicate. It's the only way we will learn what offends each-other amid inevitable cultural differences. We have to learn HOW to respect each-other.

[ZenPhire]

Flames:
Just a few quick notes regarding "Flame Wars", "Flaming", and other such types of reactive communication (whether aggressive or defensive).

What are we talking about exactly?
Essentially, we are talking about responding to a comment that is insulting or disrespectful in a way that disrespects or insults the author of the comment. In internet terms: taking the troll bait, feeding the trolls, fanning the flames, etc. Any comment that provokes such a response or retaliation can be seen as "bait". Usually this starts with an insulting or disrespectful comment, or even just an observation not intended to offend but comes across as offensive to the person it's directed at.

What does the LMC Code of Conduct request in this regard?
Avoid these types of exchanges/communication. Be careful when making comments that address another person instead of the topic. Avoid personal offense. And if someone offends you, leave it be, ignore it rather than retaliate.

How can we combat this?
Contact an Officer or Leader who can talk to the offender and mediate the situation. Report the post. Calmly and objectively explain to the person who offended you exactly why you are offended, so that they can avoid it in the future. Or just ignore it all together.

How do I defend myself?
This is a delicate balance. Many people feel that such comments can be equivalent to slander, and that they mar their reputation or public/private image. Sometimes such comments are just confused (slightly insulting) misconceptions that you feel you must address or else others will fall victim to the same misconception. This becomes complicated quickly in avoiding addressing the author/speaker and instead addressing the words. The best advice would be post a calm and collected response that does not address the author/speaker directly, nor does directly oppose them. simply state the truth as you see it, simple and objective and then leave it alone. You must allow others to make up their own minds, and hopefully they will see your maturity and take your comments with much more gravity than the comments of someone with demonstrated lack in maturity. In other words... be the mature one, be the bigger person... if you have to clarify a misconception, do so carefully and do not make it personal. In severe cases, contact a Leader and ask them to remove the offending comment (which a Leader WILL do if it grossly violates the LMC Code of Conduct).


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Read on for a more complete analysis of the issue:
I'll be referring to all such forms of communication as RC (reactive communication). I will also define some terms used here to illustrate certain concepts.

Flames. We've all seen it. Many have participated in it whether unknowingly, intentionally, or to defend one's honor. It's a game with no real winners when the stake is society's evolution. Some believe in it as a form of disillusionment or desensitization and follow it like a dogma, believing that it's for the good of humanity. Here at LMC it is squashed.

What is at the core of this drama? The way I see it (and the way I'll lay out the analysis here), is that you have 2 primary dynamics of antagonistic communication: one reactive, and one deliberate. The reactive dynamic involves a person reacting emotionally to another's comments and responding with aggressive, defensive, accusatory, or generally antagonistic, language. The deliberate, is where a person is not reacting emotionally (at least not yet), and instead is acting from a habitual, or intellectual motivation; again to oppose one-another. You can classify debate as deliberate. To fit our discussion, we'll only be considering communication which is personal and largely subjective. (Not that objectivity would exclude a correspondence as potential kindling or spark; but hurtful objective claims would be more along the lines of insensitivity, or direct insult; as opposed to the more subtle and passive aggressive offense generally found in flame wars at their inception.)

In English? You have people who are replying to each other emotionally from fear, hurt, or anger. Or behaving as if in a duel of wit, humor, or intelllect. Either way you have people against one another, opposing each other, rather than communicating with each other, focusing on victory rather than resolution. It's like debate, except personal and insulting.

The inception of the flames: understanding how it starts is imperative to prevention, and even to resolution.
(will expand later)

The chicken or the egg: are some people just too sensitive, or are some just not considerate enough?
(will expand later)

The compromise: a graceful solution?
(will expand later)

Given, many LMC members may partake in "mock" flaming. But it is done at risk, and always with good knowledge of those involved, awareness of surroundings, and consideration for others. The act of "Trolling" is polar opposite to the LMC Code of Conduct. Where trolling, flaming, etc. is a direct intentional disregard of mutual respect, the LMC Code of Conduct sets the base for a flexible and open-minded approach that allows for great character, humor, and social diversity, while maintaining the framework for respect above all else.


(This is a stub to be expanded on later, for now it only touches on the concepts and does not explain the dynamics in detail)

[ZenPhire]

Code of Conduct revised 5/11/2011:
This is the first time the Code of Conduct has been revised since it's inception nearly 3 years ago. Included in the changes are needed edits to grammar and for clarity, removal of redundancies, some few additions, and a slight restructuring (incorporated the concepts and content from "Courage" "Honor" and "Rectitude" into one broad concept "Honor").
As the Code of conduct is central to LMC please take the time to become familiar with this revised Code and re-pledge yourself to it in the Revised Code Pledge thread.

If you have any questions or suggestions, please post them in the Code of Conduct Discussion thread.